I remember when things were well I was feeling fine I didn't have a care
in the world as I travel and dine.
I remember when things were great I would ask for seconds
on my plate and I ate till I became a thirty-eight.
I remember when things were good. I worked hard and went
to college like I should, coming home 11:30pm at night
and stayed up with the candle burning.
I remember when things started to change, slowly when
I left my husband. He didn't have to hit me with hand a
third time or pick his best friend as a long life mate.
I remember when things took a toll as I worked for every
temp agency that I could.
I remember when I lost all my hair, I had bald spots
everywhere, and the doctor said I might have cancer, so
I would have to go for tests to see if they could find
the answer.
The lady said, "put your left hand in the air but
don't disappear. As I raised my hand for the photo, I accidentally
hit her in the nose. The blood was coming; she started
yelling but thank God, I did not break anything.
I remember when I had to eat lunch with the whole bunch.
Everyone wants to know what you have. As I sat in the corner
they would call me over and I would say no to their offers.
You see everyone eating rice and peas, cheeseburger, pop,
chocolate or apple pie. I was eating white bread with butter
and water till my shift was done and when I went home there
would be no one there so I started to cry. My belly was
hungry so I would make juice and live on that so I didn't
die.
I remember when I lived with the ex-boyfriend he complained
that all I do is eat. He tried to control me without a
doubt, not knowing my faith so I stopped eating I went
back to drinking and I started vomiting and bingeing.
I remember when he kicked me out, he called me all kinds
of names as he would shout at me, hitting me in the head
with the telephone and then I passed out. When I got up,
he told me to leave. While I was getting dressed, he took
away my coat, purse and keys.
I remember when the cops came, they took me to my friends'
house in shame. They let me stay until there was space
in the shelter. My life totally changed drastically forever.
I remember when all this happened I said, "God,
why me?" Who knew that fourteen months and four shelters
later that I curse I went through that time would turn
out to be a blessing. I now have a place of my own. I have
peace of mind. I just have to work on my eating but not
all the time. My eating is still very poor even though
I have food galore. I find myself still vomiting and bingeing.
Help me please, someone, anyone while I keep searching.
I remember when......................
